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Street King
Oprettet: 25. aug 2009
Offline - Senest online: 2. maj 2018 Bruger er på filterliste
Olieskift for kvinder:
1. Kør på værkstedet senest 15.000 km efter sidste olieskift. Drik en kop kaffe i ventetiden
2. Efter 15 min. Betaler du og forlader værkstedet med en nyrenoveret bil
Udgifter:
Olieskift inkl. kaffe kr. 458,00
Olieskift for mænd:
1. Køb olie, oliefilter, pakning og savsmuld
2. Opdag, at beholderen på tanken med spildolie er fuld. Grav et hul i
haven i stedet
3. Åbn en øl og drik den med velbehag
4. Klods bilen op. Brug først 30 min. til at lede efter klodserne
5. I ren frustration - åbn en øl og drik den
6. Skub oliebakken ind under bilen
7. Led efter en 16 nøgle
8. Opgiv og brug i stedet en svensknøgle
9. Løsn bundproppen
10. Bundproppen tabes i oliekarret, mens du får varm olie på hænderne
11. Rengør det værste svineri
12. Snup en øl, mens olien løber ud af motoren
13. Led efter oliefiltertangen
14. Opgiv. Stik en skrutrækker i gennem filteret
15. Det kræver en øl mere
16. Naboen dukker op. I tømmer ølkassen
17. Næste dag, Spildolien graves ned
18. Kast savsmuld på den olie du spildte i går
19. Øl ! ? Nåh nej, de blev drukket i går
20. Ned til købmanden for at købe øl
21. Nyt oliefilter på. Husk lidt olie på gevindet
22. Hæld den første dunk olie på bilen
23. Husk den manglende bundprop fra punkt 10
24. Led febrilsk efter proppen
25. Husk at proppen røg ud med spildolien
26. Drik en øl
27. Grav ned til spildolien og find proppen
28. Forsøg at skrabe den friske olie op under bilen
29. Nu trænger du simpelthen til en øl
30. I forsøget på at spænde bundproppen, glider svensknøglen og knoerne slås til blods
31. Hovedet slås i gulvet som reaktion på punkt 30
32. Hvæs bandeord (f.eks.: - for helvede også)
33. Kyl svensknøglen væk for altid
34. Rens hænder og pande og forbind knoerne
35. Bid smerten i dig med en øl
36. Hæld 4 liter frisk olie på motoren
37. Det må fejres med en øl
38. Rul bilen ned fra klodserne
39. Du kan lige nå en øl, inden bilen prøvekøres
40. Prøvekørsel
41. Politiet stopper dig for spritkørsel
42. Bilen slæbes væk
43. Stil kaution og hent bilen
Udgifter:
Dele kr. 450,00
Bøde for promillekørsel kr. 5.500,00
Transportudgifter kr. 1.250,00
Kaution kr. 2.500,00
Øl kr. 130,00
I alt kr. 9.830,00
__________________
YOU KNOW YOU'RE DRIVING A SUPRA WHEN:
1.) When a girl asks if you are single and you pop your hood.
2.) You have started to only race crotch rockets because they are the only competition.
3.) People always ask why you would want to upgrade to a single turbo when they came with two.
4.) When someone asks you to sell your car for the blue book you just laugh at their stupidity
5.) You drive around in the winter/cold with the targa top off.
6.) Every other car on the road that's not a MKIV is a piece of shit ( even if it has 1000hp )
7.) A Civic that run's 10's is still a piece of shit.
8.) When you no longer snore, but make boost and blow-off-valve noises in your sleep.
9.) You care more about the car then school/work
10.) Your car ?only? makes 500hp+ on ?low boost? and pump gas.
11.) You?re the only one at the track running 10?s and/or 130MPH on street tires.
12.) You drive your car 3 out of 12 months a year.
13.) You walk to work/school in the cold convincing yourself that you've got a sweet car, meanwhile the Supra is nice and toasty in the garage...
14.) You hunt down other Supra owners even when you are in your beater and wave only to get a puzzled face
15.) You go through tires almost as fast as gas
16.) You source unknown expensive parts from japan to add 2 hp
17.) You love it more than you could think of loving any woman
18.) You're sick of the fast and the furious
19.) Off a roll is the prefered type of race
20.) You have supraforums as the default page in your web browser
21.) Parts catalogs with items circled mysteriously appear on your S.O.' coffee table
before Christmas
22.) You have a brand new set of tires, but you keep looking at the tire ads, anyway
23.) You can quote all of your cars specs, but can't remember your anniversary.
24.) You take the long way everywhere and still get there first.
25.) You can recognize another Supra from ten miles away
26.) You talk about your car like it was made by God
27.) When you are depressed, you go to supraforums for advice
28.) People talk shit about you or your car online because they know they would have their asses handed to them in person!
29.) There are always 25 free parking stalls between your parked car and the store you're going to.
30.) When you refuse to park in the dorm parking so you rent out a garage two miles away and bike there whenever you need it
31.) You refuse to get a beater because a fmic sounds more appealing.
32.) The only cat you have is the one on your dick
33.) When you spend 90 hours within a week and a half looking for a 1/2 psi boost leak
34.) Everytime you hear an odd sound on the highway, you pull over no matter what the traffic is looking like
35.) When you're in your beater (4cyl camry) and see a 10 second civic, you still look at him like you can take him on.
36.) You are in your beater and give a ricer the finger
37.) You have $10K in mods, but the stock stereo system
38.) Curt Aigner begins to know you by voice recognition
39.) Little kids annoy the fuck out of you and ask for rides
40.) Those same kids tell everyone youre their brother
41.) You look at your boost gauge more than your spedometer
42.) You start to lay out a 3 page plan on what your future mods are for your supra
43.) The local carwash starts to know you by first name and gives you discounts
44.) Ebay loves you
45.) You know you are a supra owner when you time slip trap at 130+ but you 60ft. in 3 seconds.
46.) Only civics try to race you on the road...everyone else has more sense than that
47.) You spent more for your 9 year old car than your neighbor that just bought a brand new one
48.) Snow no longer means you can go skiing in your eyes...it now means "How the fuck am i gonna get home?"
49.) It's 15 degrees outside, and you're heating water to wash the car.
50.) As you're washing the car in number 49, you take your jacket off so it won't scratch the paint.
51.) A cop offers to trade you a PBA card for a ride in the car
52.) You get annoyed when people go "too slow" on off-ramps, look down at your speedometer, and realize you're doing 100.
53.) Its not a matter of if you're ever gonna get a ticket, its more of a matter of when it's gonna happen.
54.) Speed limit signs are the work of satan, and thus you refuse to obey them.
55.) Your girlfriend realizes when you're talking to her on the phone and reading SF at the same time
56.) Your girlfriend one day tells you "You know I think the car's better looking than you are," and you just nod, smile, and say "Yes it is."
57.) ...you no longer have a girlfriend
58.) Number 57 doenst bother you, cause your car likes it harder and faster anyway
59.) you take offense to the fact that someone has the balls to say "you talk about your car like it was made by God," as if they actually knew otherwise
60.) When you hear the term ?pump gas? you think of $4+ a gallon an 100+ octane
61.) You make more power with one liter than most cars do total
62.) When you hear the words ? Fast and Furious? you cringe
63.) Your dad doesn't care about the GPA cause he wants a ride in the car
64.) Your roomate and his Camaro loving friends finally shut up about kicking import's asses
65.) You get your roomate's girlfriend cause she likes your car better
66.) You get dumped by your roomate's girlfriend but don't care cause you found a Hawian Tropic's model and a set of hot twins that love your car as well
67.) You lose touch with a lot of friends because most of your discussions before were about whos car was better and now its obvious who was right
68.) You know you love supras too much when you see all the supras parked by the street during TX2k2 and rush there to see it, almost crashing your friends car, who's keys you ripped out of his hands to skip lunch to come watch tx2k2.
69.) You know you're supra crazy when you get an empty feeling inside when you can't visit the forum at least once a day or when the board is down for maintanance.
70.) You pull up to a gas station and ask if they have racing fuel and the attendant says "yeah but it's $4.50/gal, are you sure you want it?" and you say "Oh sweet, filler up."
71.) you're talking all excitedly about your car and racing and some people overhear and ask what kind of car you have and when you tell them they make a face like "why the hell is he all excited about a mid 80's toyota?" but then when they see your car they can't believe it's a Toyota because they've never seen an Supra before
72.) you have your own special "supra towel" that is 100% virgin cotton that has never been in contact with fabric softener and is the only towel that is allowed to touch your paint.
73.) you have your own special super soft wash mit that you keep in a bag in your trunk so when you're at somebody else's house and they ask if you want to wash your car you say "sure, but your wash mit has chunks in it so I'm going to use my own."
74.) you get out of your car at the Chevron station and start taking pictures of it under the florescent lights while everybody stares at you like you're an egotistical moron and your wife is in the car trying to hide from everybody.
75.) your x-mas list consists of cheap stuff like Lexol and motor oil because the stuff you really want nobody else can afford to buy for you (ie. fmic, t78, trd wing..."
76.) you pass by people on the freeway and smile because you're imagining what your car looks like in their eyes and the image pleases you
77.) You have a bag of Zaino products behind your driver seat to get rid of any swirlage that catches your eyes no matter where you're at.
78.) you go to a restaurant you park in a spot that can be seen from a window, as long as the spot won't risk you getting door dings, and then request to be seated at the table/booth by that window
79.) you go visit friends and family and let your wife do the talking while you stand and stare at your car out the livingroom window
80.) you have another car that costs less than a GReddy 3 row that you drive when it rains
81.) you always think of what mods you could buy if you sold that POS
82.) every roll of film your wife develops always has at least a couple pictures of your car from the same angles as all the other rolls of film, but in different locations and/or under different lighting
83.) you'd rather live in an apartment and have a nice modded Supra rather than buy a house and drive a cheaper car, or stock supra
84.) you spot a crowd of ricers and pull in and pretend you're interested in their cars when really you're just there to show yours off and check out their ladies
85.) you're cruising along on the freeway and you see cars in your mirrors zooming up beside you but then you lose site of them because they don't pass you. Instead they're chilling in your blind spot, drooling over your car, and you get annoyed so you pretend like you don't know they are there so you turn on your blinker and pretend you're going to hit them
86.) the people next to you on the plane didn't hear you correctly and think you're flying to texas to buy a subaru because they're hard to come by where you're from
87.) people crap their pants when you tell them how much boost you run daily
88.) people think you're talking about your pet when you're talking about your Dawg
89.) you go browse the for sale section before a movie or tv show, during commercial breaks, and after the movie or tv show has ended, because you never know when that killer bargain will pop up
90.) When you're watching 25 auctions on ebay and 10 of them are Supras that have already sold, 1 is a skyline you wish you could have, and the other 14 are performance parts that you wish you could have for your car
91.) You keep busting your shit on the ice on the driveway from the water from washing your car in 20 degree weather
92.) You never have to ask your friends, "who wants to ride with me" When your all going out.
93.) You would do anything for a girl who owned a supra
94.) You peek in the garage every hour just to see if your car is ok
95.) You love telling people after you demolish them in a race that your mods are, "just exhaust and a boost controller"
96.) When random people ask you what it is and if its a 2003 model year
97.) When your supra is cleaner than your bedroom.
98.) people start to chase you on the highway to follow you
99.) You can relate to at least half the things on this list, and that makes you daaaaamn proud
100.) When you tell ppl why you didnt drive your car cause of the snow, they ask "What snow?"
101.) You ask your Spanish teacher how to say "Supra" in Spanish
102.) You blow ricers away on the road, and then smile as you tell them "Imagine if i had a turbo..."
103.) Running your car cold is like the Rangers winning the Stanley Cup... doesn't happen
104.) A teacher at your schools begs you to let her drive your car, and you laugh when she offers you the keys to her car to assure you that nothing will happen
105.) You are introduced to new people by your friend as the "guy who owns the supra"
106.) Your girlfriend dumps you and you don't care because you know you could get another hottie in 10 minutes of cruising with the dawg
107.) Every other car enthusiast on the floor thinks you are an arrogant prick since getting one but no one wants to race
108.) Suddenly every Civic owner on campus considers you their "friend"
109.) You compiled this list and posted it on your door and people say "Yeah, you sure can relate to most of those"
110.) You dont even look at the price of regular gas any more
111.) You try to think of easier ways to pre-mix
112.) Your more worried about hurting your car in a wreck than yourself
113.) Yokohama has a regular delivery schedule to your house every other month
114.) you break off a date (and sex) because your car is overdue for a waxing
115.) your GF threatens to break up with you if you don't spend more time with her....
116.) she stays with you because losing you means losing the car
117.) cops stop you to talk about your car
118.) you feel weird when driving your beater. Why? Because no one is staring at it....
119.) you smirk at people in their slow, $60,000 M3's
120.) your upgrades are worth more than most peoples cars
121.) you only go to Sunoco, as they are the only ones that carry 94 octane (92 just isn't enough)
122.) you fail your midterm, but it's ok since you got that new part installed
123.) you get frost-bite on your hands because your headlights needed a cleaning
124.) you have a personnal escort at the school parking lot of ricers that seems to always park close to you
125.) people tell you an auto is slow, and you laugh at their ignorance
126.) you won't have sex in your car for fear of damaging the leather interior
127.) you make her swallow so as to not stain the interior
128.) Your boss had to block supraforums off the network
129.) when people ask you if u are single and u say "Not yet but I am working on it"...
130.) When Curt and Dusty have your credit card number, home address, garage address, body shop address and various numbers memorized
131.) when u visit other car websites and they hate u without knowing u because of what car u drive
132.) when u put the words "ONLY" and "550rwhp" together in a sentence and its no big deal.
133.) when someone says "Hey, thats a real nice Celica" and u get really pissed off.
134.) when you tell people your car is 6 yrs old and they wont believe you.
135.) when u have a 4k sound system and turn it off in tunnels and over passes so u can hear your turbo spool up and your BOV hit with each shift
136.) when u roll off a 12.0 at 130 on street tires and everyone at the track gets a good laugh but at the end of the night when everyone puts on street tires and leaves the only people to challenge you are bikes
137.) when people talk about your track times being slow even though they arent running any faster at the track
138.) when you constantly hear " Well u paid too much money for your car" or " I only have 50 cents in mods and I paid a dollar for my car...You paid 30 million so u should be faster and have a better interior etc....etc...
139.) you agree with those close to you that you need an intervention
from your obsession
140.) you just have to turn around to take one last look at your car
whenever you park it somewhere, and as you turn back away
you smile like your on a mind altering drug
141.) washing your car is a form of meditation
142.) you take pride in knowing your only 15 min. from anywhere
143.) a gig of your hd is supra related stuff
144.) you look for shiny buildings to drive by just to enjoy the view
145.) You critique people on their method of getting in and out of your car and give them tips on what they did wrong and how they can improve for next time
146.) When people get out of your car they have this scared look on their face because they don't know which part of your door to touch to shut it and you are standing there staring at them with your 100% cotton towel in your hand ready to wipe off their greasy hand prints when they touch the door and then you say to them, "Next time just use the handle to shut it, that's what it's for."
147.) When you open your driver door to let your friend get in back but he jumps in the front seat and pretends to be playing with the dials while at the same time is suddenly deaf because he doesn't hear you saying "Brad. Brad. Brad! WTF are you doing?!" Then when the group of hot chcks walking by staring at your car is gone he suddenly regains his hearing and gets in the back seat and you say to him "What the hell was that? Were you pretending like it was your car?" and all you get back is a stupid grin
148.) When it's really late but you see a crowd of people at 7-11 all gathered around an S2000 drooling over it so you turn in really quick, park, pretend like you don't see everybody staring at you and your car, go inside and walk around a little bit and come back out empty handed, get in your car, and leave gracefully
149.) when you passing everyone up on the freeway when you are still in the merging lane trying to get onto the freeway.
150.) You park your neighbor's car with it's headlights on facing your Supra so you can wash it in the dark
151.) when it rains: its still ok because all the worlds a skidpad. you enjoy the f1 like tail of spray as it leaves your tail, and watch it a little too long on the freeway. it'll give you a chance to try out that new cleaner, and your car was getting dusty anyway
152.) when the only cars you're even sort of scared of are Grand Nationals and auto Supras
153.) you have ever actually heard a biker say WHAT THE FUCK?! at 140mph
154.) most people hate you and you think its funny
155.) you cant not make fun of rotary engines
156.) when your tired of being asked, how much did you pay for it?
157.) when u cant remember a girls name but u can remember the name of the guy who sells u tires and u have his # on speed dial
158.) when u wake up from a nightmare and ur safeplace is the inside of ur supra
159.) you see another supra, wave, smile, and for that one moment you both are thinking the exact same thing........damn, that is one sexy car
160.) when you're walking and u hear a bov from far away and know exactly which bov it is and can list all of your supra friends that have the same bov instantly
161.) when sometimes u drive around looking for tunnels just so u can punch it and hear the turbo echo
162.) when traction doesn't exsist until third gear
163.) When you are on a Camaro website and everyone flames you cause they are jealous
164.) when you come out of a store or restaurant and notice a crowd of people gathered around a really nice car so you join them and you say to the guy closest to you, "man that's a really nice car." and he says, "hell yeah it is." Then you disarm it and get in and drive away gracefully
165.) When its 2 am and you can't fall asleep cause you've riled yourself up thinking about a nice big single turbo you are going to be putting in soon
166.) You'd rather dream about your car than girls
167.) when some chick in her BMW gives the girl in YOUR car an ugly look because your girl is with a better looking guy in a better looking car
168.) When your friend with an RX7 rides in your car for the first time and says "no wonder you supra owners are so cocky." and you say "why's that?" and he says "because you can be."
169.) when you get your pay check, and the only thing you think about it what mod to do next
170.) when your reply to :why more horsepower? is always "cuz i can...."
171.) you laugh at people(except supra owners and other very few cars) brag about how much power they are putting out
172.) you just spent all your money on your car that you can't even go out to eat and you don't care
173.) you get asked why you spend so much money on 6 year old car
174.) but they shut up after you give them a ride
175.) ppl always begs to drive your car just once and you're annoyed to hell by them coz there's just no way you'll even let them touch the steering wheel
176.) you spend 6 hours in cold finding and solving the boost leak
177.) constantly browes vendors' websites and dream about parts you will be getting in few months or so
178.) you get revved at every traffic light
179.) you wake up your whole neighborhood coming back home at 4 am coz your car is just too fucking loud
180.) you laugh at your friend talking about how scary driving at 140mph is
181.) when speeding tickets don't phase you
182.) when 17mpg is a new record
183.) When you barely step on the gas half way and you can already see you're gas needle actually go down
184.) When you're in 6th gear on the highway, you drop to 4th..suddenly 30 seconds later you just realized you killed 1/4 of gas
185.) When you refer to everything in life unmodified as "stock".
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